The Five F’s That Keep You Stuck in Chronic Pain and Symptoms
Hi friends,
Living with chronic pain, fatigue, or other persistent symptoms can feel like an endless battle, consuming every aspect of your life and leaving you feeling powerless and exhausted. I would know- I spent nearly 14 years stuck in this cycle, before slowly winding my way out thanks to brain retraining and mindful practices. (If you want more details on my story, I invite you to download my free starter guide, which comes with a series of emails about my recovery journey!)
It’s estimated that over 20% of U.S. adults experience chronic pain, nearly half to the degree that it severely impacts their ability to work, attend school, or participate in normal aspects of life. Then there’s the nearly 5 million (and growing rapidly, thanks to Long Covid) Americans diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME), shut out on the sidelines of life thanks to a myriad of debilitating symptoms. Dysautonomia, an umbrella term for conditions affecting the autonomic nervous system, particularly Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), has been diagnosed in 70 million worldwide (although, I suspect the actual number is much higher).
I share these 3 main conditions, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and dysautonomia, not only because of my own personal experience with them but also the fact that, despite affecting such a huge portion of the population, our modern medical approach to treatment is woefully misguided and lets far too many of us fall through the cracks. While most healthcare practitioners who work with these patients are well-meaning, I think the underlying brain and nervous system aspect is typically ignored or not understood yet. (again, it wasn’t medication, or diet, or IV therapies, or supplements, that made the difference for me- it was a whole branch of science that I had to discover on my own and is still considered “fringe.”)
When it comes to these “neuroplastic” conditions, there are several patterns of belief and behavior that can keep the symptoms around for a long time, and can make them quite severe. Working with what Dr. Howard Schubiner calls the Five Fs can empower you on your journey toward healing and reclaiming your life. Personally, I had to do (and still do) some deeper work and get real with myself on how I engaged with these five patterns. For any of us with likely-neuroplastic conditions like CFS/ME, fibromyalgia/chronic pain, POTS, Long Covid, etc, I guarantee that there are at least 1-2 of these at play! Probably all of them!
(Not sure if your condition is connected to the brain/nervous system? I share a helpful quiz in my free guide.)
So, let's just dive in now and explore the Five Fs that keep you stuck in chronic pain and symptoms.
Fear
Fear is a natural response to uncomfortable sensations like pain, brain fog, dizziness, and intense fatigue, but it is also the main thing that fuels them! Constantly reacting to the symptoms with fear will, without a doubt, intensify your suffering. Also, the anticipation of discomfort may lead you to avoid certain activities or movements, perpetuating the cycle of pain and anxiety. I lived so many years in avoidance that my world just got smaller and smaller, and became terrified of every little thing, from taking a new vitamin or moving my head the wrong way to certain foods and having to walk too far from the car to the grocery store.
A key piece of the recovery process is confronting these fears head-on through education, reassurance/creating safety, and gradual exposure to previously avoided activities. By challenging irrational beliefs and perceptions surrounding symptoms, you can reclaim your sense of agency and reduce the grip that fear has on your life.
Fixing
The instinct to seek medical fixes for physical ailments is deeply ingrained in our society, echoing our deeper human resistance to feeling any discomfort in the body. This is amplified in any of us with the “TMS personality,” who are perfectionists and “doers.” However, it’s important to reconsider this pattern. While medical interventions have their place, they often fail to address the underlying emotional and neurological factors contributing to chronic illness. Instead of endlessly searching for external solutions, consider exploring the internal landscape of your emotions, limiting beliefs, and behavior patterns. And understand that you cannot force your symptoms to go away! Stop seeing your discomfort as an urgent problem to be solved. *Disclaimer: I am not telling you to never see a doctor or take a medication. Be smart about your self-care.
Focus
You’ve probably heard the saying- “where attention goes, energy flows.” Where you focus your attention matters- all that mental energy can strengthen the neural pathways you may be trying to dismantle. When you hyper-focus on your symptoms, you reinforce the pathways associated with discomfort and perpetuate the cycle of suffering. My approach to this is two-fold: first, learn to redirect your focus away from pain and toward things that bring you joy (remember your DOSE chemistry!) or that put you in a flow state. Second, when you’re ready, use that powerful focus of yours to do somatic tracking, where you can practice attending to the sensations while reducing the fear.
Frustration
Living with chronic pain, fatigue, and other misunderstood conditions often breeds feelings of frustration and hopelessness, particularly when you’re putting in so much time/money/effort to healing. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself unable to escape the relentless cycle of suffering, pushing, trying too hard, and sinking into victimhood. This is very common, even along the brain retraining journey! Please be patient with yourself and accept where you are on your path to recovery. Rather than focusing on finding quick fixes, or making hasty changes when you’re not seeing results fast enough (totally guilty of this one!), try embracing the process as a gradual and non-linear journey. Recovering from neuroplastic conditions takes many months or even years, and it’s *never* a straightforward process. Start practicing acceptance and nonattachment, taking a day at a time.
Fighting
The instinct to fight against pain, fatigue, and other symptoms is understandable, but it can also exacerbate your suffering. Remember- what you resist, persists! Fighting or resisting symptoms only tells your brain that they are a priority threat, and to keep pumping out the stress chemistry. Recovery is a process of surrendering to what is, practicing acceptance, and embracing your moment-to-moment reality without judgment. Instead of viewing the symptoms as an enemy to be defeated, consider approaching them with compassion and understanding. By acknowledging your pain (mental and emotional pain too) and allowing yourself to experience it fully, you can shift into greater ease and make space for healing to happen.
Which of these F’s do you identify with most?
If you're living with mindbody pain, fatigue, dysautonomia, or other chronic symptoms, know that there is hope for your recovery, thanks to the science and principles of neuroplasticity. No matter how long you’ve been suffering, your brain is still capable of amazing change! And no matter if you choose to invest in a structured brain retraining program or not, remember that the Five Fs are key to moving the needle.
Remember, you have the power to rewrite your story. And I’m here to support you if you need. Email me or check out my coaching page to learn more.
As always, my friends…
Wishing you joy and ease.
