Hello dear friends!

All of us form energy cords of attachment to others. This is a perfectly normal thing to do, especially if we care about that other person. However, if a relationship has ended, whether it’s romantic or platonic, those cords can drain you of your vital life force, and prevent you from moving forward. So, cord-cutting rituals are some of the most needed, and most powerful, pieces of magic that we can do!

If you’ve been following me on Instagram lately, you’ll know that I recently had a relationship come to an end. And so, I’ve been sharing my process online- my advice, rituals, and energetic self-care for breakups.

After the initial rest and restore phase, following a breakup, it’s important to be intentional about separating your energy from this person. Depending on the length, intensity, and commitment of your relationship, your energies may be quite entwined. And if you don’t wish to keep carrying all that around, you may want to do a cord-cutting ritual.

Now, I do cord-cutting in Reiki sessions regularly, and it’s a little different process, working in purely the spiritual realm, vs having a grounded, hands-on practice. I prefer to do both, especially when it’s a significant relationship. If a breakup has been painful, or you have lots of complicated feelings for that person, both is best!

I will also say that it is perfectly OKAY to still love and care about that person, and still do your cord-cutting. Remember that this is not an act of violence towards them, but merely an act of taking back your power and restoring energetic boundaries. Something that is helpful, even if you still have to interact with them!

(A quick note: I do not personally practice or advocate for any kind of curses or hexes in my rituals. Some people do. For me, I trust the karmic cycles to turn over themselves, and prefer to keep in the light. Some cord-cuttings include hexing, so use your judgment and decide what’s best for you.)

With this breakup, I waited 3 days before I did cord cutting and cleansing rituals, but it hadn’t been a super serious relationship. It’s okay to wait several weeks or months, or even longer- honor your need for restoration, and make sure you are not in a volatile or angry emotional space when doing your cord-cutting.

There are many variations of this ritual, but I will share with you my version! Here is my personal cord-cutting ritual, which served me well this time, and has in the past:

Ritual Tools

2 small/thin candles
About a foot of twine or thread
2 small bowls of sea salt
Sage, palo santo, or other smudging herbs
Assorted crystals, if desired (I had my rhodonite stone, rose quartz, amethyst, several clear quartz, and my selenite wand)
Photo, business card, or other representation of this person
Fireproof bowl

Ritual Instructions:

Always start any ritual by setting sacred space/casting your circle (everyone has their own way of doing this, so find what feels best to you). Crack open a window too, if possible.

Tie each end of the twine to each candle. Then, place your candles in your bowls of salt (use enough salt that your candles can stand upright). I also put my quartz in the bowls too. Light the candles.

Take time to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and attune to this person’s energy. Try to come into a place of compassion, as much as possible (maybe do a metta meditation beforehand, if this is a real challenge).

Grab their photograph and your bowl. Lower the photo into one of the candle flames and while it burns, try to feel gratitude for this person. Recite aloud:

“_________ (person’s name), thank you for the lessons learned. This portion of our soul contract is now complete. I release you from my energy field now.”

Drop the ashes into the bowl. (Be careful to not burn your hands here- use tongs or something if that helps).

Now it is time to officially cut the cord. Light your sage, palo santo, or a stick of incense, use that flame to light the middle of the twine in between the two candles.

Allow the twine to burn all the way over to each candle, and as it burns, recite:

“I now release the ties that bind. I now claim that which is mine. Blessed be, and so it is.”

Close your eyes and visualize your energy being returned to you, and breaking the connection to this other person.

Allow the candles to burn down completely- when they go out, the ritual space is sealed.

Remove whatever wax is left from the bowls and discard it.

Pour the salt into the nearest water source- streams, ponds, canals, or yes, even your toilet bowl will work! You can say one final blessing here:

“Spirit of the water, please accept and wash away any of ________’s (person’s name) remaining energy. I release it from whence it came. Thank you.”

You may also pour any ashes from your bowl into the water as well.

Wash your hands, and don’t forget to close your circle, thanking your spirit team for holding space for your ritual!

Every time that I have done this ritual, it has had really positive effects. Generally, I sleep better afterwards, and wake up feeling lighter. And in the days and weeks following, I feel more free and empowered, able to better control my energy and stay calm, even while thinking about or interacting with that person.

While a cord-cutting ritual cannot take the place of healthy communication and good boundaries between you and your ex, it is a powerfully supportive thing to do!

I’d love to hear your experiences, if you’ve ever done a cord-cutting ritual, or if you try the one I’ve shared with you here!

And if you need personalized help or have questions about cord-cutting or releasing energy from relationships, please book a 1:1 session HERE.

Much love, as always.

~ Take care and be well ~

Cord-Cutting Ritual For When Relationships End

Ritual Tools

Ritual Instructions: